The Choice

Friends are angels, sent from above,
A gift from God, symbolizing love.
They never fail to brighten your days,
With so many marvelous, wonderful ways.
Their wings are invisible, their halos too,
And before figuring out, they're gone too soon.
Sometimes things do take a wrong turn,
That scars your heart, it hurts, it burns.
I once heard that friends stay and never will go,
But for now, Im 15 I already know.
All this is nothing but a lie,
In reality, there are only goodbyes.
You can cry and moan, and wail all you want,
But this is one wish, God can never grant.
Maybe it seems surreal, a devil's mastermind,
But once you learn, its a skill to survive.
Ths world is cruel, harsh, undeniably cold,
But if you try hard, you can change it to gold.
Life is bumpy, and everyone stumbles,
But pick yourself up, remember dont grumble.
Soon enough you'll kearn how to walk,
Just like how babies learnt to talk.
We fall all the time, its inevitable,
But in the end, its incredible.
Sarah, listen to me now,
You can choose to swim, or you can drown.
There will be struggles when things fall apart,
Just remember, never to put on a fasade.
Believe me now, you have nothing to lose,
Afterall, FRIENDS, are the family you choose.


We make choices everyday.From the moment we awake,we are already choosing whether if to get up or not,whether if to go to school or not,whether if to have Yong Tau Foo or Roti Prata for recess etc etc.But there are also times when you just make the decision without any hesitation because those kind of choices are the type of choices where you are certain of the outcome,for the answer already lie deep within your heart.Such if life, unfair and cruel, forcing people to make choices amongst the ones they love.Why cant we just get to keep both?Is there such rule that we must forgo the other?This is unjust.
Listen to me now dear,Im sure you know who you are.Whatever happened back then,or what I did unconciously that offended/hurt you guys in any way, Im utterly,terribly,sincerely sorry and apologise for it from the bottom of my heart. Truly I never have the intention to purposefully dismiss you guys from my life. It never meant that now that Im moving on with my new school life, you guys are ideal. NEVER!I have never stop wondering what is it that made you guys to even have the idea/thought to think such way of me.To be honest,its really unexpected and it tears me apart within to know such fugly truth.I have nothing to defend for I dont think I did anything wrong.All I know is that Ive tried my best, Ive given my best, I offered my everything and all the time possible to keep this going.But if this is how my effort turn out to be,there's nothing I can do for its beyond my control, beyond my power.It takes two to tango.However,I definetely do not wish things to be as awkward and foreign as it is right now.I believe in us.I have faith in us.Whatever happened to all the promises,vows, and pledge to stay strong forever and ever more?is this it?is this the end of it?Im surprised of how far we could get.
To me,I've always cherished, treasured and held you guys close to my heart..all the time.Maybe you dont know,because I dont show?I have no idea.All im certain is that,come what may,for better of for worse,Im always here for you guys.I'll do anything just to put that smile back onto your pretty faces, even if it means withdrawing myself..as long as it makes you guys happy.Just bear in mind that,Im always here for you,I'll try my very best,within my power and means to be with you through hard times, to lend you a listening ear, to offer you my hand to pick you up, to give you my shoulder to cry on, to simply accompany you just to make the silence a little deafening.Just incase I dont make it there,know deep within you heart and soul that Im stil there.Its just up to you to believe it or not,because I sure hell do.Even as time goes by,and you dont hear anything from me,doesnt meant that Ure insignificant to me.RUBBISH!never have I weighed you values and compare it to my new friends here and then see who's of better worth for me to hang out with.NO!everyone is unique and beautiful in my eyes.You guys hold a special place in my heart,a rather important one as well.Because Im not ashamed to declare that I'd die for our friendship, that I'd sacrifice all that it takes to rekindle this relationship.I dont see this as THE END,instead this is merely a stepping stone to bring us to a greater height.I shall do whatever He plans, for I know I can do anything through Him who gives me strength.And I have faith that this is one of His plans for me,so that I would go throught this short term of bitterness and eventually realise His works and appreciate more of what I have.If all these awkwardness and pain is too much to bear,just let me know and I'll take a step back and not interfere anymore.Whatever is it,always remember that I have your back.
Now the question lies in you,DO YOU HAVE FAITH?DO YOU BELIEVE?

CHIMERA ROCKS SOCKS (:

hey peeps,sorry tht I havnt been updating my blog lately..the hols have been awesome and thrs just too much to write about all the happenings..haha..yeah..how nice is it to know that ure money is flying away cause ure eating out too much ): I sure gota watch it n save up for rainy days now.. anyway,augustine sent us this interesting news about CHIMERA...enjoy.
For those that are clueless,Chimera is the name of my Orientation Group (OG) by the way.

chimera \kye-MEER-uh\ noun

1 : an imaginary monster compounded of incongruous parts
2 : an illusion or fabrication of the mind; especially : an unrealizable dream

Example sentence:
Jared decided to leave the company upon realizing that his hopes for advancement were merely a chimera.

Did you know?
In Greek mythology, the Chimera was a fearsome, fire-breathing monster with a lion's head, a goat's body, and a dragon's tail. She terrorized the people of Lycia until their king, Iobates, asked the hero Bellerophon to slay her. Iobates had an ulterior motive; his son-in-law wanted Bellerophon killed and the king was sure the Chimera would do the job. But Bellerophon called in Pegasus, the winged horse, and brought the Chimera down from above. The beast lived on in people's imaginations, and English speakers adopted her name for any similarly grotesque monster, or, later, for anything fanciful.



CHIMERA ROCKS ANW

my first hourly report

I think I lost my soul today or something.Out of the blue,I just felt so lost and not belonged.I had to admit that after the morning games of our Orientation2,I left with Sidney to go to the PC fair till night.I actually intend to return to AC for the mass dance,but apparently my mood swings struck and I abandoned the idea.DO I regret?I don't know.

Then I was rather alone at the hostel,knowing that everyone's out at school so I just wondered around like some pathetic lost being,and settled a while at the bleachers,allowing the cool breeze to clear the clouds in my head.Tho it had little effect,I had the luxury of time to just relax,breathe,and space out.Yes,I was totally blank for that moment just listening to radio and not wanting to worry about anything.In fact before I went back to the hostel I wanted to just take a random bus and have a car ride on the bus and see where I'd end up at.hehe.not bad eh?Maybe next time (:

So then Jo returned from Orientation and we just sat at the pathetic looking stone seats,had our packed dinner and talked.Then along came Matias and Daniel,back form the PC fair with their stuff,and we talked somemore..till we missed out rollcall.And it was my third time missing rollcall,and hence,my third code B4 offence (whatever that is) Thus,I'll have to serve the punishment..or more commonly known as the Hourly Report here.Starting from 9am tomorrow,I'll have to go to the general office hourly to get the signature of the guard on duty all the way till 10pm >.<

sigh...what a way to spend my Saturday.Then that'll mean I have to miss my Drama Crew tmr...uhoh..dont think Aaron would like that...oops.


here's my hourly report form. See those blank slots?yeap,to be filled with the signature of the guard (or aka celebrity of the day) sigh...

The Fountain

“Every shadow no matter how deep is threatened by morning light.”

Bagus,Matias,Daniel,Jo and I went to watch 'The Fountain'.Its a nice show peeps,touching and very superficial.Lay men's terms...its CHEEEEEEM (:

here's a little peek review about it:
The Fountain is a simple love story that spans three eras: the 1500s in Spain, the present day, and the future. Hugh Jackman plays Thomas, a conquistador loyal to Spain in the 1500s who embarks on a journey to find the tree of life; Tom Creo, a doctor in the present searching for a cure to cancer; and Tommy, a futuristic astronaut traveling through the heavens. Rachel Weisz plays Isabel, the Queen of Spain in the 1500s and Izzi Creo, Tom's wife who is becoming increasingly sick due to a tumor. There are three very distinct and separate moods associated with the different times, each of which is subtly and fastidiously illustrated. Aronofsky connects these three time frames and tells their stories individually with finesse.

so yeah...hahah..tomorrow is Subject Registration day and then its Orientation2.sigh.Im actually looking forward to the second Orientation but then I just realised that there is about 7 of my OG mates are not joining us..how sad right?goodness.and my classmates!oh man oh man.how good can all these be?):

alas..

finally,after.all.the.interrupted.sleep..im.staying.on.at..
ACJC.arts.stream.

and.if.ure.wondering.what.all.the.fullstops.are.for...well..the.space.
bar.is.faulty..so.this.is.the.only.way.that.I.thought.of.to.seperate.
the.words.anyway.PRAISE.THE.LORD.that.I.could.still.stay.on.at.AC.
cause.throughout.the.whole.weekend,I.was.rather.emo.n.gloomy.
Its.over!*phew*
however,unfortunately,bagus.matias.stella.are.posted.to.JJC.instead...
and.now.they're.off.to.school.to.appeal...
ALL.THE.BEST.GUYS!We.really.want.u.all.to.stay.at.AC.and..
MAY.THE.FORCE.BE.WITH.U.

and.now,Im.just.going.back.to.bed.and.wait.for.their.news.
hopefully.the.school/MOE.will.notify.them.that.their.appeal.is.
successful.by.tonight.so.tht.they.can.go.for.the.AC.Orientation2.
All.in.all.I.hate.the.system.of.having.two.different.intakes.
Why.cant.they.just.settle.the.students.all.in.one.go..
that.way.we.dont.have.to.experience.the.trauma.of.changing.
environment.and.meeting.new.ppl.when.you.have.just.settled.down.
with.the.bunch.of.friends.that.you.met.two.months.ago.
sigh...BIG.SIGH.
all.that.I.can.do.now.is.to.keep.all.my.fingers.and.
toes.crossed,keep.my.friends.in.prayer..
and.sleep.

by.the.way.Phantom.Of.The.Opera.is.showing.at.Esplanade.during.
Mid.March.and.it'll.be.showing.for.about.a.month.
the.ticket.will.cost.me.$132.30..
should.I.go.for.it? *think,think,think*
Let.me.know.when.Im.awake.hehe.dada.

what's it gona be?

12 MORE HOURS TILL THE RELEASE OF JAE POSTING RESULTS!!

Im so anxious..

this is so confusing

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me





I wana get rid of this wrong thought,please let me renew the image that I have of you. Tell me that Im wrong,for thinking that you are who I see now.

HOME ):

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home



exactly man,day in day out Im all surrounded by a million people but yet I still feel all alone.And the only thing that cross my mind now is to get HOME,somewhere I can be my REAL n TRUE self.somewhere I know that there will be friends who would appreciate me and accept me for who I am.And most importantly,RESPECT ME & BELIEVE WHAT I SAY and not just continue to apply your inference on something that I already clarified a zillion times.

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

this is so annoying.I feel like some emo shit.
PLease get me out of here.Please rid this rotten feeling.I hate feeling so Low,not that I wana be high.I hate the grey clouds that covers over me.Bring out the sparkling stars again,please.Tell me what I thought is all wrong,tell me that I misunderstood you.Because this sucks.


KITTY!good thing you're not too far away and that you're just a phone call away.
Thank God u were there to relieve my sadness and stress.Think I'd be mad fretting about it if it weren't for you to be there to lend me your listening ear.

GRACIA!thanks a lot for listening too dear.Only you could really relate to what Im facing but then again,I wont be calm and feeling better if you didnt spare me the 45minutes complaining and crying to you.

PIVIAN!dont worry about me,Im feeling much better already,seriously.Good to know that I'd still have you,my dear ol sweet caring understanding friend by my side always.


WHERE DID I GO WRONG, I LOST A FRIEND.
SOMEWHERE ALONG THE BITTERNESS.